New Year Resolutions

While the population may be mentally compiling highly ambitious new year resolutions that in reality will be broken within a fortnight, I am trying to stay relatively realistic with mine.

1. Stay out of hospital and remain healthy (This will be my greatest achievement if accomplished. This was something that in 2013 very nearly failed me a number of times.)
2. Don't drop below my current weight of 9.2 stone. However this does mean I can fit into Levis I had at 16
3. Turn up the music when running marathons
4. Look back at the day and see how far I have come since sunrise, how lucky and fortunate I am.

Of recent I have noticed that I have a deep desire, one that needs to be sated otherwise I shall remain frustrated and dissatisfied for a great while longer. There is a part of me that wants this sensual desire to be fulfilled, it dates back thousands of years and is one that should not be avoided. In the past I have performed this enjoyable act with others, though often afterwards I have cast them aside like an unneeded service.

After thinking on the matter I have come to the conclusion that my mistake is my choice of partner. They often lack experience in these matters, and the pleasure that I receive drops dramatically as a result. After great thought I have realised that I have become enlightened on the matter. What I need is someone older, with more experience, with immeasurable talents that will benefit me, as my lack of experience will be provide great amusement to them. I need an older woman for NSAS.

Now I have come to understand that there are a number of alternative meanings, however in this instance NSAS stands for "No Strings Attached Shopping" (Did you really think I meant anything other?)

What I really need if an older woman to take me under her (bingo) wing, take me out on weekly basis to do some hardcore shopping. In my mind (which has heavily idealised this situation) she would be a wealthy, equally as decadent as I, independent professional woman with no commitments to family, meaning that I become the light of her fading eyes. We would revel in each other's tales, I in her salacious tales that are both more funny/disgusting than the last, and her in mine that couldn't be more different...or at least at the start anyway. 

It would only be after a short while I would realise she has successfully corrupted my (remaining) morals. Her primary role would be to provide a combination of both role model and cash machine to the socialite events we attend together, whether that be in London or "on the continent" as she would phrase it. From these two gifts I would be expected to become her 'apprentice' as such, ready to take her role after her quickly approaching demise. My mind races with the image of leading a lifestyle more decadent than already, with a cunning, sometimes manipulative, firm woman ( I imagine her to be a mix of Martha Levinson and Violet Crawley from Downton Abbey) who can teach me everything that will make me the admiration of others and desire of many young gay gentleman who we encounter on our travels.

I would rather think of the relationship two sided, hers as joyful that she can instruct me and see the improvements I have made under guidance, and mine as gift receiving, companionship and the hilarity of the good times, without the sex of course (I'm not a prostitute dammit).

A Cheeky Update

Now I realise that it's been a while since I last posted a blog entry and I do apologise to the regular readers (of which there are, according to "Blog Stats": 2,845 ) this is because I have been incredibly busy. Double busy.

Now if anyone follows my Twitter (@iTomHanson) you will see that I have regularly been tweeting about meetings/trips to London and also investment banking. So many people have been asking me about my goings on over the last 2 months and I'll be honest I forget what I have said and haven't...so I thought I'd round up what's gone on since last time I blogged.

In September I was successful in my application to be selected (alongside 35 other cool people that I now consider my Stonewall Family or #StonewallFam) to attend the Stonewall Talent Programme. I had an amazing 3 days in London, and only 2 of those I had a hangover from the alarmingly cheap drinks at G-A-Y and Heaven. After the course I then went to Oxford a few days, then Gloucestershire and then finally coming home after which was a well travelled week.

In October we were all invited back down to London to attend the Stonewall Talent Programme Reunion and also launch of the Stonewall Starting Out Guide. That day was one of the best in the whole of October for me. When I attended the Talent Programme in September everyone was slightly wary of what to say and how to be among everyone else, however at the reunion it was completely different. It was like walking back into a room of old friends I'd known for years. I don't think I stopped smiling all day. The event was hosted at the London offices of Bank of America Merrill Lynch in Canary Wharf. Oh my goodness. What an amazing place it is, the sheer size and the atmosphere when you're there. It's electric.

We walked into the atrium of BAML, immediately it hits you how powerful this building is. The marble, the leather, the sheer size of everything. The money. Walking into the conference room and seeing the other Talent guys and people from Stonewall immediately put the biggest smile on my face. It was amazing to see everyone again and hear about what had gone on since we saw each other a month before. The achievements, the successes and also hearing about what they had done day to day in such a short space of time, was incredible. That evening it was the launch of the Stonewall Starting Out Guide, a national directory book of LGBT friendly companies. I count myself incredibly lucky that I was able to hear from a number of inspiring speakers and their stories of gay employment. This time the wine was bang on marvellous!

After the launch it was more drinking wine and chatting to everyone invited. I love networking and talking to people at these formal occasions and, of course, I'd come prepared! Everyone I gave my card to was staggered I was that prepared. During the evening I spoke to a man from a major Investment Bank in Canary Wharf, it turned out we are both runners which gave us both a laugh and conversation. I gave him my card and he gave me his. It turns out that might have been the best exchange of cards ever.

From emailing him over the last month, having met for a coffee and contacting other individuals I've met and then meeting them, I have been selected 4 times for all expenses paid courses in London, each time run by different banks and career organisations. I was invited back down to London last week and then later this month again. There's an open invite for a week long course in Paris in January aswell that I'd love to go to. It's been a few years since I was last in Paris, I can remember my favourite coffee shop just off the Champs-Elysees and if I'm there in a few months I'll be going back! The latest invitation is of a game of golf at a club in Surrey in the new year, the only problem is I haven't played in 2 years. I could lose gracefully I suppose.  The phrase "mind blowing" seems relevant.

Two weeks ago I yet again travelled South, this time for a course hosted at the stunning offices of J.P.Morgan. Touring the city in the morning was one of the best experiences I've ever had! I got to cycle a rickshaw down Regent Street, Penny Board down Hyde Park and then Cycled on a boris bike all the way down Oxford St to Soho among other adventures. All the time in a suit, it was only when I stopped I remembered how much it cost and then suddenly felt sick from the thought. I bought a particularly fantastic pocket square from Saville Row on my travels aswell.

I posted a picture on my Twitter of the JPM logo and a caption, my phone didn't stop buzzing as people were asking me why I was there and how impressive it looked, to those of you who I Snapchatted the wine rooms and the seemingly endless panoramic photos from the rooftop balconies, I do apologise.
I was sent the link for the event on Monday, I applied that night, received my confirmation Tuesday morning, went down to London on the Wednesday. My application form must have been pretty damn good.
During the course we heard from a number of employees at the banks, Stonewall Deputy Chief Exec: Ruth Hunt who is always a treat to listen to, a discussion panel hosted by my contact at CS and then afterwards a cocktail and wine party. The wine was yet again amazing with some very snazzy canapes, I have a feeling they might have been foie gras. I also got to meet some incredible people in the employees from the banks, but also a lot of great friends that I'm definitely going to keep in contact with for a long time.

I've come away from London this time with yet more contacts, a slight hangover the next day, endless freebies and corporate gifts and offers of hospitality when I'm next in London (one of which involves a tour of Credit Suisse and a meal at a very famous London hotel), but I've also come away with a few offers of both graduate placement jobs and also opportunities for a placement year in September 2014.
It's safe to say that from the Stonewall Talent Programme I have gained an incredible amount and I am forever grateful to those who have supported me and given the opportunities that have lead me to where I am now. Oh yeah I've also ran a 1hr 37mins Half Marathon within the month.

A pretty productive month!

The Problems We Face And Google

Every single day we face problems of our own and often we go about them with no real announcement of them and hence they can sometimes lead to further problems, which along with the original problem can make the situation and experience all that more challenging and difficult. One aspect I was reminded of this morning from the news, is that of Postnatal depression (female readers here), you experience a roller-coaster of emotions for 9 months of your pregnancy, the massive highs of giving birth to your child that you have dreamed of for such a long time, but then experience such lows after such highs. 

I fully empathise with anybody that experiences any form of depression. You look at life and see that we only live for maybe 80/90 years, it's when you look at it like that you realise that life is short and why must we waste time crying? I'm currently 19, I've already experienced nearly 1/5 of my life, and with those years so much has been already decided for me and yet I'm still to live so much more.

Everyone has problems that they are living with. It's only the strong and shrewd that can hide these feelings away from others and portray an almost perfect life where these problems that might cripple others, just seem to be an inconvenience to them, if that at all.

Now while we face things that can be pretty important and upsetting, you also face the occasional issue where it can be comical but also peculiar. My most recent such problem is as follows.

Google.

Google makes money from allowing companies to place advertisements on webpages, from this they take money from the companies. If you happen to see an advert you like and click on it, then Google takes more money. Now for this to happen more often, Google offers to suit the adverts to the viewer.
However Google doesn't seem to want to bother with me. 

"Meet Single Horny Girls in Yorkshire. Click Here To Join"

This must be the most common advert that is presented to me, or others that are very similar. Now while I can see that this advert or others of this type are more commonly used compared to ones that have a homosexual theme, I still think that it would be nice for a simple thing such as an advert on Google to at least get it right, or at least for me. I certainly have no idea why Google thinks I'm straight. No terms ever searched on my computer suggest this. I feel that if Google stalked me half as well as I thought it did, then surely I wouldn't be faced with this problem.

It can be embarrassing when friends look at my laptop and see that I'm being offered the finest images of women that claim to be 0.5 miles away, with them knowing that I'd rather vomit than even engage in anything more than a handshake. I mean do I not scream GAY to you? Or at least "snappy dressing-attractive-dapper-debonair-GAY"? Well maybe.

From this I wonder whether I have to come out as being gay to Google itself. Should I compose an email to Larry and Sergey? Announcing that whilst I feel privileged to receive such a wide array of attractive women when searching for bike parts, I do not feel that they are completely utilising their resources in researching my Internet searches, to benefit their company financially.

I just feel that if Google was to offer me a more considered and appropriate occasional advert, and it was more personalised then I might not feel let down and saddened by what they have to offer me.

I've Got Pride!

Back when I was in hospital I discovered that Leeds annually hosts a LGBT Pride Parade. When I was bed ridden I could think of nothing better and more enjoyable than a day long party with friends and experiencing a social scene that is accepting of everyone! I had to go, no matter how ill I was. Maybe I could have a rainbow flag draped over my wheelchair? A gay cyclist in a wheelchair (sounds like some sort of insulting joke).

Fortunately I have been healthy for a few weeks now and was able to go along with a few friends!

Having never been to an LGBT parade before I was unsure as to what expect. Would it be really outrageous? Would be there hateful individuals? Would I be tripping over lesbians that look like Justin Bieber? Would I feel uncomfortable? Would I see anyone attractive? Am I gay enough for such a thing?

Well I can honestly say that it was the best thing I have done this summer! It's an amazing atmosphere where everyone can be their true self among others that you would normally worry might make a derogatory comment to you. Some individuals go further than that, they really go to town with their outfits and it's clear there has been a lot of though behind their threads for the day. Some outfits were literally threads but that's by the bi (pardon my spelling pun).

It was only when we stopped in McDonalds for lunch that I realised that it's an amazingly simple concept but it has such a huge impact on citizens. I believe the concept is that for one day you have a great all day long party where nothing is said about who you are holding hands with or what you're wearing, you let people celebrate their sexualities and take pride in doing so.

I looked out of the window and saw so many people that were embracing life in a way that is sadly barely seen in the society we live in. I got a feeling of great happiness in that I can walk down Briggate St and have a banner saying "I'm Gay" on because in some countries this would lead to imprisonment, torture or possibly death. But I also felt a great sadness in that we have to wait an entire year before we will see this great occasion again where you have no worries about walking through Leeds holding the hands of a same gendered person. This was certainly one factor that was advertised today rather frequently: The new Russian Homophobic Legislation. I feel proud to live in a country where from next year we will be able to have equal marriages because for far too long the stigma of being gay and having to accept a "civil partnership" has been (I believe) belittling couples and their relationships with each other.

Whilst the day was slightly wet and cold at the end, I thoroughly enjoyed the day and it was fantastic to be part of it. Throughout the day I tried to collect as many rubber wristbands as was possible without seeming manic. Tom's LGBT Band Count = 24 (Was 26 but 2 were donated to a lesbian couple). I wish that I had been able to go clubbing afterwards and have a great evening to round off what was a great day, but next year I shall definitely do that!

Today changed my mind, whoever we are, wherever we are in the world we should be able to take pride in ourselves and our sexualities. I've Got Pride!