Coming Out of The Cycling Closet

At the beginning of September I was lucky enough to be selected to attend Stonewall's 2013 Talent Programme. This is an annual course run by the London based LGBT charity, that teaches 18-25yr olds the benefits of being a gay role model in the workplace.
It was an amazing 2 days where I met some truly fantastic people, both in the other candidates on the course and also the speakers that we were lucky enough to hear from. The stories I heard over the exhausting two days were some of the most deep and heart moving I have ever listened to and I'm deeply honoured to have done so. But I make it sound like a really emotional two days, and it was, but also I have never laughed so much with complete strangers.
I tried to think of the single funniest story from the course and I remembered the corporate dinner with the main sponsors: Bank of America Merrill Lynch. We were told to wear smart casual clothes for the formal dinner so I suited and booted accordingly. We were then taken to Jerwood Space in London. Shown inside, given wine and canapés and told to mingle. Sadly the wine they had chosen to bestow on us was vile, so I decided to go for the safe and sensible Orange Juice, which was also vile. Going well so far.

We were then told that dinner was going to be served and to make our way to the tables, naturally of course there was a seating plan. At the head of our table was a rather serious and sombre looking bald man who introduced himself as Richard. How my heart sank. How I'd hoped that we could have a light conversation with the odd polite chuckle thrown in over a joke about immigration or taxation. I cannot ever comprehend how wrong I was. I don't think I've ever laughed so much over dinner. We talked about boyfriends/girlfriends, one night stands, G-A-Y the previous night and how I'd apparently been rather popular in the gay clubs (I don't remember any of that night...) and also it turns out Richard is a raging lesbian admirer. So much so he persuaded two of us (YES ME) to download Brenda... quite possibly my lowest moment I'll admit. But the hilarity outweighs any negative feelings I might have gotten from downloading the "Lesbian cruising" app. (I deleted it 5 minutes later).

I have spoken to other Talent Programme members since the course for the purpose of this blog post, and one thing I did notice was how popular the final activity of the course was, to name our role models.
Now those of you who would bet good dollar I said sportsmen would be rolling in the money. I chose among a few personal friends and colleagues, Alistair Brownlee, James Cracknell and Bradley Wiggins. I also chose Tim Cook because of being the gay CEO of Apple.

But one thing that was noted among the other candidates was that I didn't chose an openly gay cyclist. Now there is a good reason for this. There aren't any. Well... there are none that are openly gay in the modern peloton that I am aware of. The only result I can find on Google is that of Graeme Obree. A famous track cyclist that liked to experiment with different bike designs and being "unique" in his approach to racing. However when I found a news article where he talks about being gay, I was firstly annoyed that the only gay cyclist I could find was a retired one, then I was angry after reading what he had said.
Obree had gone on to say that whilst he had come out since retiring, he strongly urged today's professionals not to reveal their homosexuality, for fear of how they would be treated by the cycling community and team mates. He's a first class idiot.

Being both a gay man and cyclist, what Obree says REALLY annoys me. While I completely respect his decision to stay "closeted" himself, I disagree with his statement that others should. He has absolutely no right to be the authority on the matter.
I'll give you a scenario for why I think he is wrong on so many levels.
A child grows up loving cycling and has many idols in the sport who are fairly obvious examples, but also at the same time they're questioning their own sexuality. How amazing would be it for them to find an openly gay cyclist that they can relate to? I speak for myself because this scenario is mine, it would have been amazing. I would have had a role model that I could completely relate to because they have not only announced to the world they're gay, but made a success of their life, however sadly this didn't happen. In sport you can turn off the worries that you face in your everyday life and just immerse yourself in participating. If you see that there is a successful sportsman, or just an individual that is accepting of their sexuality in your sport, then it obviously creates an admiration for this person.

Stonewall knows that young people need role models to aspire to, to look to because of them accepting their sexuality and succeeding. On Monday 16th September, Stonewall went to 92 professional football teams in England and 42 in Scotland to ask them to wear rainbow laces during their matches. The reason? To promote the idea that you can be homosexual in football and eradicate homophobia from the areas that you play and support a team.
Now while I admit this is a fantastic thing for both sport and binning homophobia, I feel that we cannot stop at football. Obviously I am biased and would like a similar campaign to be carried through to cycling and other sports where children are being influenced by the actions and lifestyle choices of sportsmen and women.

I mean hell in pro cycling there is a rainbow jersey, if only it was a "fabulous" one.

Advert of the Month

When I was a child my parents took a vow to treat me with respect, love me unconditionally, help to develop my skills as a child and an adult, and to protect me. Fortunately my parents have incredible foresight and chose the latter aspect of my vow to save my innocent young soul from crass reality television.

19 years later I am happy to report that they haven't failed in safeguarding me from that world, it is as a mystery to me, as clothes are to Miley Cyrus. 

Now while being completely oblivious to reality television, this means that any trip to the hairdressers is incredibly awkward with no topic of conversation other than the weather, boys or holidays, I feel that my soul is just that little bit clearer for it. 

At the beginning of September there was yet another series of such reality TV (I don't have the first clue which series or franchise) and as usual this would completely pass me by like football or yodelling. However a friend of mine rang my mobile that evening to inform there was an advert that I would find interesting. The dialogue between Jess and I, is as continues...

Tom: Jess what is it? I'm running over the moors.

Jess: Tom there's an advert on TV, it's got a gay couple on it.

Tom: You rang to tell me that? Gay couples are portrayed everyday in the media in such a bad way.

Jess: No Tommy, this is completely different. You'll like it.

Tom: Sure sure, I'll check it when I've done my training. Oh yeah, are you getting the vodka in for tomorrow?

It's safe to say the thought of completing my hill reps was more interesting at that moment. However when I got home I decided to check out this advert that I was apparently going to like. Like was an understatement.

The advert in question is the current 'NatWest CashBack Plus'. It depicts two sisters who look rather similar but lead rather contrasting lives. One heterosexual and one homosexual. The first sister kisses her husband Geoff goodbye at the train station and loves swimming. The second has her hair tucked behind her ear by her girlfriend Kate and loathes swimming. They then meet up as a double date in a coffee shop to have a chat with each other. End of advert. *Tom smiles*.

Last month in my post about Gay Employment, I talked about how there had been such a different portrayal of gay IT workers compared to what we had seen in recent months and years, almost a new direction in the media. A few weeks later there has been a national television advert that was shown at peak time, showing a same sex couple. Now I feel that before I carry on, I must offer my profuse thanks and admiration to NatWest's marketing department. 

This is why:

It could have been so much easier to develop an advert that would show a trampolining poodle that would suddenly become an YouTube hit, with a nation of 12 year old's trying to get their dogs onto the family trampoline to re-enact it. But they chose not to. They chose to show something so strong and amazing, yet subtle and, in my mind, tasteful. I had to watch the advert a total of 7 times before I could really appreciate it fully. It's not patronising or stereotypically clichéd and awkward like it could so easily have been with a gay couple, but it's just...normal. No big song and dance made towards two women embracing in public, it re-enforces the fact that we're all different, and THAT'S COOL!

You do worry that whilst I, and a great number of other LGBT people, have seen this as a giant step forward in the mass media portrayal and start to eradicate the social homophobic stigma, there may be others that are ignorant in their views and object to such an piece of television. But I do hope that other companies see this breakthrough, as just that. They can now follow a completely new line and style of adverts that can completely target new audiences without the worry of being the first to do so, with having the safety and security of knowing this gay advert works and also that LGBT people are pleased they have done so.

The "NatWest CashBack Plus" advert. 

I've Got Pride!

Back when I was in hospital I discovered that Leeds annually hosts a LGBT Pride Parade. When I was bed ridden I could think of nothing better and more enjoyable than a day long party with friends and experiencing a social scene that is accepting of everyone! I had to go, no matter how ill I was. Maybe I could have a rainbow flag draped over my wheelchair? A gay cyclist in a wheelchair (sounds like some sort of insulting joke).

Fortunately I have been healthy for a few weeks now and was able to go along with a few friends!

Having never been to an LGBT parade before I was unsure as to what expect. Would it be really outrageous? Would be there hateful individuals? Would I be tripping over lesbians that look like Justin Bieber? Would I feel uncomfortable? Would I see anyone attractive? Am I gay enough for such a thing?

Well I can honestly say that it was the best thing I have done this summer! It's an amazing atmosphere where everyone can be their true self among others that you would normally worry might make a derogatory comment to you. Some individuals go further than that, they really go to town with their outfits and it's clear there has been a lot of though behind their threads for the day. Some outfits were literally threads but that's by the bi (pardon my spelling pun).

It was only when we stopped in McDonalds for lunch that I realised that it's an amazingly simple concept but it has such a huge impact on citizens. I believe the concept is that for one day you have a great all day long party where nothing is said about who you are holding hands with or what you're wearing, you let people celebrate their sexualities and take pride in doing so.

I looked out of the window and saw so many people that were embracing life in a way that is sadly barely seen in the society we live in. I got a feeling of great happiness in that I can walk down Briggate St and have a banner saying "I'm Gay" on because in some countries this would lead to imprisonment, torture or possibly death. But I also felt a great sadness in that we have to wait an entire year before we will see this great occasion again where you have no worries about walking through Leeds holding the hands of a same gendered person. This was certainly one factor that was advertised today rather frequently: The new Russian Homophobic Legislation. I feel proud to live in a country where from next year we will be able to have equal marriages because for far too long the stigma of being gay and having to accept a "civil partnership" has been (I believe) belittling couples and their relationships with each other.

Whilst the day was slightly wet and cold at the end, I thoroughly enjoyed the day and it was fantastic to be part of it. Throughout the day I tried to collect as many rubber wristbands as was possible without seeming manic. Tom's LGBT Band Count = 24 (Was 26 but 2 were donated to a lesbian couple). I wish that I had been able to go clubbing afterwards and have a great evening to round off what was a great day, but next year I shall definitely do that!

Today changed my mind, whoever we are, wherever we are in the world we should be able to take pride in ourselves and our sexualities. I've Got Pride!